Why Do I Love Someone I Can't Have?
by Step of Faith
Summary: Takes place in modern day japan. Konoha Academy. Pairings: Sasu/Saku kinda... "Does this mean you're rejecting me?" "It just means that I can't accept you yet..." Please RR


A/N: Please no flaming. Some material is from real life... Some material came from my nightmares...

**Why Do I Love Someone I Can't Have?  
By Step of Faith**

Sasuke Uchiha, your not-so-average eighteen year-old boy. In fact, he is the most popular student in Konoha Academy. He has had straight A's on all his report cards since he was a child. He is a target for all the fan girls in the Academy. Except One.

Sakura Haruno, your average eighteen year-old girl. She happens to be very bright, but not over the top. She doesn't run with the crowds, she seems to go her own way, and hangs with whomever she wants to. She's not a needy girl, but has a somewhat girly appearance. She fawns over Sasuke Uchiha, yet she's the only one who knows that, besides Ino.

_BANG!!_

A locker is slammed closed. 'If that stupid Naruto ever, ever tries to steal a kiss from me again...HE'LL DIE!!' Sakura thought. Sakura had grabbed her Sciene textbook and started walking towards her classroom.

Sakura sighed. This hasn't been the first time Naruto had tried to steal a kiss. In fact, she wouldn't allow anyone to steal a kiss from her unless it was Sasuke Uchiha. Like that is ever going to happen.

Calmly, Sakura walked into her classroom. She looked around the room to see that most of her classmates were already there. Though, there was one person she didn't see. Sasuke Uchiha.

'Probably still flirting with all those girls in the hallway.' Sakura thought. As Sakura goes to her seat, she slams her head on the desk.

"Geez!! Sakura, you're really going to get a headache if you keep doing that." said Ino, Sakura's best friend.

Sakura looked up at Ino. "Yeah, but I just can't help it. Everytime I come to class he is always somewhere else..."

Ino frowned. "Sakura, why don't you just give it up already. He's never going to look at you in any form or way. Believe me, I've tried and now he doesn't even acknowledge my existance. Trust me, you're better off without him."

Sakura looked down upon her desk. She started to think that what Ino said was right. After all, he never looked at her way, or any of her friends way at all.

Then at that very moment, the devil walked in. Sasuke Uchiha.

"Hey, Uchiha man!! Late as ever I see" yelled someone, who was probably a friend of Sasuke.

All Sasuke did was grunt. He gracefully walked to his seat and sat on his chair. Without making a sound, he put his head on his desk and started sleeping. Very typical.

"Hey...that's my thing. Not yours. Why are you sleeping?" Shikamaru asked.

Sasuke looked up with red eyes. "I've been up all night typing up an essay. What else?"

"Keh, looks like you saved it for the night before it's due huh?" cried Naruto.

"Ugh..shut up, dobe." Sasuke mumbled.

"Would you stop calling me that?" Naruto yelled.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and just looked the other way.

Right than and there, their eyes met. Sasuke Uchicha's and Sakura Haruno's.

At that very moment, Sakura's stomach started swirling with endless possibilities. She was having a hard time breathing.

On the other hand, Sasuke just happened to be staring at her. Nothing else. He didn't have any trouble breathing at all.

Sakura couldn't take it anymore. His staring was actually starting to freak her out. She stood up from her desk and made her way over to Sasuke's desk.

Sasuke moved his head to see that she was walking directly towards him. 'Hn...Probably going to ask me out on a date. Wait till she starts bawling her eyes out.'

"Hey Uchiha, do you mind? Your staring is starting to freak me out. Why don't you save it for someone who likes you." Sakura stated.

At that moment the whole class became quiet. Did she really just tell Sasuke off? The Sasuke?? She must be crazy right?

Sasuke was thinking. 'Crap. Guess I won't be seeing her bawl anytime soon.' Sasuke got up from his desk.

"It's a free country right? I can't stare anywhere I want to. Even if it has to be an ugly face like you." Sasuke said.

Sakura, deep down, felt really hurt by his comment. On the outside though, Sakura scrunched up her face and lifted her fist. Slowly, her fist connected with Sasuke's...

Hand??

It had. He had stopped her fist with his hand. Now, Sakura, wide-eyed, looked in awe. While, Sasuke, wide-eyed, couldn't believe that she would hit him.

"Well, looks like you can't take a small little insult. You seem to always punch guys. Why is that?" Sasuke ask.

Sakura didn't know how to respond. The next question he said completely took her by surprise.

"Why do you always punch guys who try to steal a kiss from you?"

Sakura surprised, blurting out her true feelings. "It's because I like you, Idiot!!"

The room went surprising quiet, yet again.

Sakura realized what she had just said and Sasuke was still trying to comprehend it.

Sakura rushed out of the room without looking back. She couldn't stand the eyes looking at her. She couldn't stand the fact that Sasuke had just found out that she liked him. After all this time, trying to hide it, it came out.

Sasuke, coming out of his stupor, stood up and ran after her.

He had finally managed to catch up with her and caught her by the arm.

"Hey, don't think about leaving just yet. You've got explaining to do." Sasuke said.

Sakura couldn't face him. "I can't."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "You can't, what?"

Sakura looked up with tears in her eyes. "I can't tell you."

"Why not? Why do you like me? Why do you keep it hidden? Why would you have feelings for me?" Sasuke rambled on and on.

Sakura couldn't take it anymore. "I like you because you are you. I kept it hidden because I didn't want you to know. I have feelings for you because I just do. I can't help it." Sakura started to cry some more.

After her tears receded, they both stood side by side, leaning up against the wall. Sakura had started to tell him why and how she fell for him.

"It was back in the fifth grade, when you transferred to our school. All the girls liked you, I even liked you. But it was all because of the looks. They kept saying how cute you were. In fact, you were cute. It wasn't until the 8th grade that I had developed any feelings for you at all. It was when you finally acknowledged my existance as a classmate. You had asked me to be your partner for a project, and it all started from there. At that time, the other girls still clung onto you like leeches. I didn't want to be like those girls. I had started to break away and try to love you in my own way. During our second year of high school, you had ultimately made a decision that the girl whom you were going to marry had to be someone who had a brain. Of course, all the girls thought that if they were smart, you'd marry them. I had a different way of thinking. I figured you had wanted a girl who was who she was. Who didn't run with any crowds, and was independent. So I had tried to be that girl. Of course, it wouldn't have worked though. After all, you had never once looked my way since our project in 8th grade. Up until now, I had kept my feelings secret from you. I wanted you know about my feelings, but I was sure you would reject them." Sakura ended her speech, and just stood there, staring at the opposite wall.

Sasuke was trying to cram all that info into his brain. She had liked him that long? Was she insane? "Thanks for having feelings for me. However, I am unable to accept them at this time. I have a lot of issues to sort out. Maybe one day, I'll accept them."

Sakura couldn't believe her ears. Her eyes had started to water again. "So this means that you are rejecting me?"

"I'm not saying I'm rejecting you. I'm saying that I need to sort out my problems first before giving you an answer. But when that answer could be given, it may take a while. It's best not waiting for me." Sasuke stood up from the wall and started making is way back to the classroom.

Sakura couldn't stand it. She unconciously ran towards Sasuke and hugged in from behind. Both were a little stunned, but for Sakura to do that publicly, she had to be brave.

"Please, Sasuke. I'll wait. I'll wait as long as I'll have to. So please, accept my feelings." Sakura cried out.

Sasuke sighed. "Look, I can't just accept your feelings knowing that if I do reject you in the end, you'll end up hurt anyways. It's better this way."

Sasuke shrug off Sakura and walked towards the classroom, leaving Sakura on the ground, crying.

After a while, Ino had found Sakura sitting on the floor near the girls restroom. In Ino's hand was Sakura's bookbag. "Here, you forgot this."

Sakura looked up at Ino with her teary eyes. "Fanx." Sakura said.

"You look really bad. He rejected you huh?" Ino asked, while sitting down next to Sakura.

Sakura nodded, slightly. "He rejected me in a not-so rejectful way."

Sakura had told Ino what Sasuke had told her. "I see, well, either way, it may not be a good thing. I mean, he is a girl magnet. Even if he is with you, he may find another girl later on. That'll hurt even more."

Sakura clutched her bookbag tight to her. "I'm going to wait for him. I can't help it. No matter what I do, this love will just keep coming back."

Ino sighed. "Well, it's your choice. I'll support you in this love fiasco."

Sakura smiled. "Thanks, Ino."

Months pass...

Sakura and Sasuke had never made contact with each other after that. Sure they have the same classes, they just never acknowledge each other. Until one day...

"Class, this may come as a painful message, but I have an announcement to make. Today will be Sasuke Uchiha's last day with us. He will be moving to Hong Kong to accelerate his studies. Please make sure to say your goodbyes before he leaves." The teacher announced.

Sakura's eyes widened. He was leaving. Sasuke Uchiha was leaving Konoha Academy. He was walking out of everyone's life. Why?

Sakura slightly turned her head to face Sasuke's. The only thing she could see was his head down, with his bangs covering his eyes. He must not have made this decision on his own.

After all the classes were done, Sakura still had yet to say goodbye to Sasuke. She has spotted Sasuke about to go down the street.

"Uchiha!!" Sakura called.

Sasuke turned towards her direction. He froze, he had forgotten. "Sakura..."

Sakura ran up to him. "Sasuke, I didn't get to say goodbye."

Sasuke's head was down. "Is that right? You didn't come here to say that you love me or anything?"

Sakura smiled sadly. "How can I? You're leaving us right? There is no way I can say that I love you. No more waiting. This decision was your rejection. I'll have to accept that."

Sasuke looked up to meet Sakura's eyes. "It's not like I wanted to leave. My father feels that it's better for the company that I take my education to Hong Kong. I told you that you shouldn't wait for me. This was one of the issues I had to deal with, but I couldn't stop it."

Sakura nodded her head in understanding. Sakura smiled a true genuiene smile. "Sasuke, if you ever need a friend, don't be afraid to call me. Even though you can't love me, I can still help you in some way."

Sasuke was in awe. How could she still smile after all this? This girl must have a really brave soul. Her heart must have been frozen cold.

"Sakura, Thank You...for everything." Sasuke reached out and hugged Sakura.

Sakura returned the hug, and whispered. "No Sasuke, Thank You...for everything."

Sakura smiled and turned to the crosswalk she needed to cross.

Sasuke hesitated, but left to walk towards his house. Within a split second, a screech was heard, and the sound of a body hitting cement had made Sasuke freeze.

Slowly, he turned back around. There was a crowd forming at the crosswalk that Sakura was going to cross. Fear had covered his face.

He ran towards the crowd. 'Please, please don't let it be...' His thoughts were confirmed the moment he arrived on scene.

There, in a pool of her own blood, was Sakura. The girl who he was just talking to. The girl who had loved him for who he was.

Her bookbag was thrown a foot away and her umbrella that she was holding was blown near two houses down the street. Her legs were bent one way, and her arms were flung out like a bird's wings. Her beautiful pink hair was covering her already bruised face.

Sasuke's eyes widened in shock. No...this couldn't be happening right? It's all just a dream, right? Wrong.

Sasuke dropped to his knees near Sakura body. He had asked if someone had called an ambulance, and they said it was on the way. He gently touched Sakura's neck that was exposed. It was still warm, but her pulse wasn't there.

He moved her hair out of her face. Her face had a sort of peaceful look. It was as if she had wanted this. To be taken out of this world. He had took one of her hands and pressed it against his cheek. It was cold. Her hand was ice cold. How could her neck be warm and her hands cold??

No, this had got to be a mistake. "Sakura? Sakura?? SAKURA!!" Sasuke yelled. No, it just wasn't possible.

The ambulance had finally arrived, but it seemed to have been too late. They didn't put on their sirens, but had their lights on. It meant that the body being carried was already dead.

Sasuke wanted to ride in the ambulance, but they kept him away. He had to get to the hospital. He couldn't bare it if she had died because of him.

After rushing to the hospital that she was taken to, he had already found Sakura's friends there, crying.

Shikamaru, who was actually pretty close to Sakura, laid a hand on Sasuke's shoulder. He shook his head no, and Sasuke's eyes started to tear.

'Dammit!' he thought. 'If only I could have said those three words that she would have wanted to hear. If only I had just been her boyfriend, if only for sometime. If only I had accepted her feelings.' Sasuke cried.

Everyone that knew Sakura cried.

In the end, Sasuke didn't go to Hong Kong. He couldn't do it. Knowing that it probably cause Sakura's life.

It was graduation time for everyone. Everyone was saying their farewells to other students, and so on. The desk that Sakura had occupied had been empty since her passing. Her friends used to put flowers and memorial on her desk for a while, until the teacher said to stop.

It was a little after the graduation when one of Sasuke's teachers had stopped by his house.

"Kakashi Sensei, what brings you here?" Sasuke asked.

Kakashi Sensei smiled. "This was an essay Sakura Haruno had written. I believe that you should read it. Have a nice day."

After Kakashi had left, Sasuke opened up the essay that Sakura had written.

Here includes and excerpt:

I have a dilemma. I love someone that I can't have. How is this so?? I mean... I've liked other guys before and those feelings went away...but this is something that I can't even mess with. I'm pretty sure it isn't hormones. If it was...then it would have been long over. But these feelings still won't leave. I've tried many times to just throw them away...but I can't. I just can't!! No matter how hard I try!! I've cried when he first rejected me. He said that he could accept my feelings...but that is after all his issues are all sorted out. But then he says...it's either a yes or a no...keh...I know he's gonna say no. I mean..who'd want to date me? Go out with me?? No One...NO ONE!! Keh...I wish he was reading this right now...Yet..this is an essay... I can't believe I'm still waiting for him...I should just take my friends advices and just forget...but somehow I can't. I just can't!! I'll hate myself even more if he does say no... He won't want anything to do with me after that.. And yet...I'll still love him. I think I've found who I've been looking for all this time...but...I'm not the person he's looking for. Now...shall I jump off a bridge?? a cliff?? or should I cut my wrist?? What's the most effective method?? Wouldn't it be better if I just left this world??

Sasuke almost started crying reading the essay. How could he have been so stupid not to realize her love for him. Why didn't know on say anything, why didn't Kakashi ask Sakura about this? If I had known about this sooner, than maybe Sakura would still be here.

No, Sakura is no longer around. With this letter, I will promise that whenever someone falls for me that I will cherish that love. I will always be with the person who will love me for me. I will not let Sakura Haruno down.

With that said, he took that essay titled, 'Why Do I Love Someone I Can't Have?' and threw it into the burning fire below the chimney.

Thus now opening, a new chapter in his life.

A/N: I'm sorry if this fanfic really annoyed people. You had probably didn't see that coming. In fact, I had this nightmare two days ago, and I have this love for someone that I can't possibly have. It has been tearing away at my insides, and I had decided to write a story about it. I feel a little better now. I hope you enjoy this little one shot, though some of you may not.


End file.
